When chick's get brazilian waxes do they get their a-hole's done too?
Please let me know. I'm dying to know.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
BREAKING NEWS...
This just in, my receptionist at work has refilled the candy bowl... but not with the usual basic candy... but w/ Girl Guide cookies. That's right. Mother fuckin' GIRL GUIDE cookies. If anyone needs me I'll be at reception most of the day.
Lazy River
A conversation in the pool last night w/ J-Phkr:
Me- So this resort me and Anne are staying at in Mexico has a lazy river that runs through the entire resort property.
J-Phkr- Oooh Oooh is that uhh... a natural lazy river?
Me- A natural lazy river? That would make it a river... fool.
Lesson learned- Common sense is not so common in everyone
Me- So this resort me and Anne are staying at in Mexico has a lazy river that runs through the entire resort property.
J-Phkr- Oooh Oooh is that uhh... a natural lazy river?
Me- A natural lazy river? That would make it a river... fool.
Lesson learned- Common sense is not so common in everyone
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Too much sleep
God dang it. I slept through King of Queens and half of Star Gate Sg-1... this day sucks.
Party like a rockstar?
Andrew Bynum was supposed to be Shaq's heir apparent. Drafted w/ the number 10 pick in the 2005 draft he was supposed to help cushion the lost of Shaq from the previous year. He was supposed to come in and become Kobe's #2, he was supposed to use the tutelage of Lakers great Kareem Abdul-Jabaar and re-incarnate the sky hook.
His progression didn't go as planned. By the summer of 2007 Kobe Bryant was heard ranting about how Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak was an idiot for not trading Bynum for the (then) dominant PG Jason Kidd. Maybe it was this video that finally forced Bynum to man up and begin to approach the level of potential many had labeled him with. Cause for the first half of the 2007-2008 season Bynum was beasting. Easily averaging a double double and finally creating a three headed monster with Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom that the Lakers faithful had been waiting for for 3 years.
Then January 13, 2008 came. Against the Memphis Grizzlies Bynum accidentally lands on teammate Lamar Odom's left foot and would go on to dislocate his left kneecap. Season over. But not for the Lakers. Kupchak would work his magic and fleece the Grizzlies for Pau Gasol in exchange for little used Kwame Brown, rookie PG Javris Criton and the rights to Pau's brother Marc who was still in Spain playing and not due to make his NBA debut until 2008-2009.
The Lakers would go on to abosultely beast w/ Gasol in the lineup. A dream season that ended with them meeting the hated Celtics in the NBA finals. It was easy to see how the Celt's dominated the Lakers so well. When you have Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins giving Pau Gasol work and pretty much man handling any other Laker forward then it's easy to see where the Lakers would miss a guy like Bynum.
2009 was supposed to be different. Andrew Bynum came back healthy, so did Trevor Ariza, and a full year with Pau Gasol was supposed to make a trip back to the finals a cake walk. It was funny to see how many people had the Lakers slotted as the early season favorites to win it all.
Then came January 31, 2009. First 5 minutes of the game against the Grizzlies Kobe Bryant falls back awkwardly and hyper extends Bynum's knee. Initial prognoses was that Andrew would be out 8-12 weeks. Not bad. The Lakers still holding it down and as of April 1st have locked in the #1 spot in the West for the playoffs.
Reports from earlier this week indicated that Andrew was close to coming back at full strength. All that hard work and rehab was finally going to pay off and just in time to get tuned up for the playoffs. Then wtf does Bynum go off and party at the fuckin playboy mansion? Rumors of him jumping over velvet ropes, drinking and straight acting a fool have come pouring in for the past couple of days.
All I'm saying is that this mother fucker best not cost us another 'ship. Bitch you better be ready to go. Only person who should be on your shoulders is Kobe Bryant... in June... after you guys bring home the '09 'ship.
His progression didn't go as planned. By the summer of 2007 Kobe Bryant was heard ranting about how Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak was an idiot for not trading Bynum for the (then) dominant PG Jason Kidd. Maybe it was this video that finally forced Bynum to man up and begin to approach the level of potential many had labeled him with. Cause for the first half of the 2007-2008 season Bynum was beasting. Easily averaging a double double and finally creating a three headed monster with Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom that the Lakers faithful had been waiting for for 3 years.
Then January 13, 2008 came. Against the Memphis Grizzlies Bynum accidentally lands on teammate Lamar Odom's left foot and would go on to dislocate his left kneecap. Season over. But not for the Lakers. Kupchak would work his magic and fleece the Grizzlies for Pau Gasol in exchange for little used Kwame Brown, rookie PG Javris Criton and the rights to Pau's brother Marc who was still in Spain playing and not due to make his NBA debut until 2008-2009.
The Lakers would go on to abosultely beast w/ Gasol in the lineup. A dream season that ended with them meeting the hated Celtics in the NBA finals. It was easy to see how the Celt's dominated the Lakers so well. When you have Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins giving Pau Gasol work and pretty much man handling any other Laker forward then it's easy to see where the Lakers would miss a guy like Bynum.
2009 was supposed to be different. Andrew Bynum came back healthy, so did Trevor Ariza, and a full year with Pau Gasol was supposed to make a trip back to the finals a cake walk. It was funny to see how many people had the Lakers slotted as the early season favorites to win it all.
Then came January 31, 2009. First 5 minutes of the game against the Grizzlies Kobe Bryant falls back awkwardly and hyper extends Bynum's knee. Initial prognoses was that Andrew would be out 8-12 weeks. Not bad. The Lakers still holding it down and as of April 1st have locked in the #1 spot in the West for the playoffs.
Reports from earlier this week indicated that Andrew was close to coming back at full strength. All that hard work and rehab was finally going to pay off and just in time to get tuned up for the playoffs. Then wtf does Bynum go off and party at the fuckin playboy mansion? Rumors of him jumping over velvet ropes, drinking and straight acting a fool have come pouring in for the past couple of days.
All I'm saying is that this mother fucker best not cost us another 'ship. Bitch you better be ready to go. Only person who should be on your shoulders is Kobe Bryant... in June... after you guys bring home the '09 'ship.
Freak-A-Da-Day
Today's Freak-A-Da-Day gets mad props. Most people get down on my man cause he smacked his moms, but for reals... NO WOMAN SHOULD EVER TALK TO A MAN LIKE THAT. I don't care if it is yo moms, step up dog and let'er know "your not completely the boss of me".
Do you dog. I gave you a standing ovation when I saw this video for the first time and I'm sure somewhere Chris Brown is clapping.
Do you dog. I gave you a standing ovation when I saw this video for the first time and I'm sure somewhere Chris Brown is clapping.
Home Sick
Home sick, haven't been feeling well all week. I'm guessing I caught something from all the little brats at Chuckie Cheese. If you think that's absurd my sister thought she caught lice and pink eye from being at Chuckie Cheese.
Anyway's here's my top 5 reasons I hate being home sick...
1.) Sleeping in is cool, by noon though I'm all slept out, in the evening when I should go to bed I can't cause I got all that sleep in the morning.
2.) Day time TV sucks. The only good day time TV starts at 3pm on TBS (I know it's Peachtree but to me it'll always be TBS) when King of Queens airs back to back for an hour.
3.) Being home makes me hungry more frequently then I would be if I were busy at work.
4.) I get paranoid at what my so called "friends" maybe emailing my work account. If you don't think this is a big deal I once received 80+ emails in one day when I was out sick when I was working for the Forzani Group.
5.) I'm usually super horney when I'm home sick but my lady won't have sex w/ me because I am sick.
Anyway's here's my top 5 reasons I hate being home sick...
1.) Sleeping in is cool, by noon though I'm all slept out, in the evening when I should go to bed I can't cause I got all that sleep in the morning.
2.) Day time TV sucks. The only good day time TV starts at 3pm on TBS (I know it's Peachtree but to me it'll always be TBS) when King of Queens airs back to back for an hour.
3.) Being home makes me hungry more frequently then I would be if I were busy at work.
4.) I get paranoid at what my so called "friends" maybe emailing my work account. If you don't think this is a big deal I once received 80+ emails in one day when I was out sick when I was working for the Forzani Group.
5.) I'm usually super horney when I'm home sick but my lady won't have sex w/ me because I am sick.
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